On January 7th, 1994 at approximately 6pm, a king was born and placed in my arms. Looking through the eyes of this young girl, he was perfect, he was amazing, and he was a gift I didn't know I deserved. After losing a bet with his father my Anthony became our Andre, Andre James Faciane. Little did I know then that his purpose would be to save me, teach me, and become a vessel of Amazing Faythe for everyone he would come in contact with. If you Google Andre, it means to be manly, brave, classic and appealing which fits my wonderful son perfectly. There is true meaning in a name; what we call our children they will become.
I write this blog to express the importance of raising our sons to become righteous and honorable men. Qualities that have managed to "slip through the cracks" in our society. I have learned a lot being a mother and raising children, but there is no greater lesson than being a spectator on the sidelines watching my son become and act like a man. Through my son God has taught me to love, be patient, be gentle and to forgive, which coincidentally, are all the things God commands us to do. What better way to teach it to us than to use our children and most importantly, our sons.
Whether it be fortunate or unfortunate, my son watched me grow up. He saw me in pain, in joy, in suffering, in peace and in faith which helped him become a better person overall. Women aren't supposed to raise men alone, that is not what was purposed and yet, here we are. For the last 3 generations women have raised men and have been forced to become like men, which has caused catastrophic results in our society. Don't believe me, look around. How many murders of children are at the hands of men? How many rapes? How many crimes? I worked for a short time at a mens' correctional facility and let me inform you ladies, most of them possess a strong hatred for their mothers. Let me set the record straight, we are NOT men. We can learn to understand them, but we will NEVER be or think like them. God will not allow it...period. Below are three "How to's" per say, that I would like to challenge all of you with.
Challenge #1: Let them see emotion- My problem in raising a man was that I thought I had to act like one, which meant no emotion. This is one of the biggest deceptions you can fall in, men have feelings too and are even more fragile then we are. Encourage your boys to cry, say what they feel, and be a voice. Remember, one day they have to be fathers, husbands, business owners, soldiers and, most importantly, productive members of society.
Challenge #2: Communication is Required- From the time my son was 8 years old I spoke to him about life, sex, and drugs, I encourage you all to do the same. Don't be fooled, everything around is exploiting them, arm them with knowledge and information. Don't be afraid to give them that power, you are raising a provider, a covering and the leader of a community/family. You are the first relationship he will have with a woman, leave a positive imprint on his life. Most women look at their sons in jail for domestic violence and are confused as to why they are so angry with women...are you really?
Challenge #3: Show and Teach them Respect for their Fathers- This may get me boo'd off the Internet, but its the MOST important piece of advice I can offer. We needed those men to make these babies, don't make your sons believe only half of them is worthy. Whether those men are around or not, we as mothers need to teach them to respect other men...period! Believe me when I say, this detail could cost them their life in a male dominating situation and you won't be there to save them.
Thanks be to those of you who have read this blog and take heed to these words. They come from God, through me, by the lessons I have learned. My goal is to pass them to you in hopes to save our sons and most importantly, our men. Remember the Amazing Faythe God has given us as mothers, women and wise children of God!